December 27, 2005

Women Who Play World of Warcraft – Survey Excerpts

The following are some excerpts from the responses I received to my World
of Warcraft survey
. Original spelling and grammar is still
intact. [Note added 6/29/06: I did not write any of this myself. These are the voices of many different women, and I did not exclude excerpts from anyone who responded.]

Jump to gender, harassment, or

Gender, gaming, and WoW:

I am disappointed that
Blizzard is very shallow and predictable with the design of the female characters. It’s all of the
character choices really. If they really want people to be able to customize how their character looks,
they need to offer more choices besides superhero and barbie.

lot of the time (unless someone’s making it an issue by saying women play bad, or hitting on girls or
something) I don’t think all this “girl gamer” stuff should matter as much as it does. Why is it such a
huge deal? Everyone likes to do fun things; games are fun. It’s when people flip out and act like it’s
something completely out of the ordinary that it starts to get separated from “I’m having fun” to “I’m a
girl gamer, and that’s unusual.” Sure we’re a minority, but it feels like focusing on it isolates us more.
Maybe that’s just me ;)

WoW is cool? And it’s pretty damn sad that anything
technological has been so stereotyped to men that it’s OMGWTF UNHEARD of that a woman can like
computers/technology/video games. Then again, I do like the extra attention my gender can bring — as long
as it’s within reason.

My boyfriend’s friends tend to always want to help me
“learn how to play” everytime they see me playing on one of the fraternity house computers or at his house.
It’s a little annoying because I pretty much know what I’m supposed to be doing at this point–I’m just not
very fast yet, and not nearly as good as they are. But it is kinda cute, because you can tell they just
really want to help out the newbie girl gamer.

It’s absolutely amazing to see so many women play World of Warcraft,
and it’s just as amazing to see how many men are still sexist assholes
in-game. (”LOLZ WOMEN DON’T EXIST ON THE INTERNET,” and “I don’t group
with women because they don’t play the game well,” anyone?) When those
boys can beat me in HKs, fewest deaths, and killing blows in a single
Arathi Basin or Warsong Gulch game, then maybe I’ll start to believe

One of my personal beliefs is that in order to change how the gaming
industry treats women gamers, women need to become a lucrative
demographic. I play all female characters because it’s important to
see females in the game. In my experience with FPS games, there were
few players who played female characters, so the game experience
presented itself as all-male. I appreciate that WoW doesn’t give
fewer hit points to female characters, or lower stats than male
characters, as I’ve seen in some games. Having a female character
shouldn’t automatically make you more fragile or vulnerable. Blizzard
didn’t build that into it’s play system, and I appreciate it.

I met my current boyfriend through my guild. We now live together and
I couldn’t be happier. WoW FTW :D

Lots of people don’t believe that I am really female, I guess when
they see a cute female character they assume a guy is playing her so
he’ll have something nice to look at. But I really am a cute female,
it’s sometimes annoying.

I was once in an all-female WoW guild and found out that most of the members
were male, which surprised me. WoW and UO are the only online RPGs that I
have played extensively, and UO does not seem to have the amount of
gender-crossing that WoW does. (If it does, it is more subtle, and I missed

I am often surprised at the amount of sexual conversation in WoW. I played
for a long time on an RP server, where I couldn’t bear to be in the /rp
channel because it was sex talk all the frickin’ time. I don’t know if that
annoyed me because I’m older than most players, or because I’m a woman (most
of the participants were men playing woman characters). To each his/her own,
I suppose. I just got sick of listening to it.

I feel the game is sexist and racist, but I also feel that the pvp
nature at least encourages other players *not* to respect each other
in general.

I imagine it’s not really much different than being a male WoW player.
Men don’t usually go around saying, “I’m a guy! I’m a guy IN REAL
LIFE!” because it’s no one’s damn business. Sure, my friends know, but
girls who announce their gender all the time annoy me, and the ones
who exploit guys for free equipment or money flat-out piss me off.

I may not be the typical female player as I tend to be “one of the
boys” both in game and out and game with 99.9% male players. Thus, I’m
almost always mistaken as a guy playing a girl by strangers in game.

On harassment:

I play mostly with guys. Most of the girls I know hate WoW because
their boyfriends play it, which is stupid to me. It does bug me when
the guys play girls just so they can get more attention and free
stuff. I don’t know, that just seems silly. I guess its the way people
in our society work.

If I go “Away from keyboard” my character sits in a kneeling
position. I have often come back to find male characters with their
crotches in my character’s face making blowjob comments to their
friends or other passers-by. That is the most frequent occurance.

Rarely because I’m an officer in my guild and my boyfriend is a
guildleader. Randomly people don’t give me trouble and if they do I am
relatively aggressive about asking why and find they back down… i.e.
“why did you spit on me – who the hell are you to think you can do
this to me.” and find most people do not have the balls to stand up to
direct questioning. This is the only game I’ve had this problem with.
Also I have a lot of male friends/guildmates and they have no problem
with standing up for me if anything happens so I feel bad for anyone
who does anything to me.


I find that most men are more comfortable opening up to me (as an
officer or as a female – in TS or online) and it makes my job as
liaison or arbitrator easier. I have played longer than many people
and attained my level 60 earlier than most so perhaps that’s something
to do with it too. I don’t use the /flirt or female emotes as much as
many of my male counterparts do (the ones that are male and PLAY
female toons). So I am not sure if that has something to do with it.
However most everyone I know is quite aware of my being female becusae
of Teamspeak where you can’t really hide who you are.

Not really…people do tend to dish out more attention when they find
out you’re female (I recently made 2 new characters on the new
servers– one horde, one alliance– and joined guilds on both. In the
guild where people know I’m a girl, they tend to be a lot more chatty
with me. The other guild is fairly quiet)… I don’t know if that
really counts as “harassment” though.

Yes, I have. There was one instance a group invited me to quest with
them. I was en route to join them and had to travel through an area
full of high level mobs. I died on numerous occasions and was told by
my group that the ’stupid girl’ better ‘hurry up’ because I was ‘too
slow’ and ‘didn’t know what to do’. One of the other members of the
group happened to be the same level as me and was male. The group
never made one negative comment about him.

The majority of the folks are decent, but there are always going to be
jerks that say things like: O RLY UR A GRL! OMG YOU MUST BE FAT AND
shock! surprise! I’m not fat or ugly!)

Over time, I have learned to exercise discretion when disclosing my
gender, and to not take things too seriously in an online environment.
After all, you know what they say about arguing on the internet… :)

I find “gamer girls” that broadcast their feminity as a ploy for
attention and “benefits” very distasteful.

Usually it’s someone making comments in game about my female human
toon’s body, like that has anything to do with me. Occasionally my
guildies will tease me about posting my photo on our guild website,
but I’m pretty sure they don’t mean anything harassing by it…

have found very small percentage of people in WoW to be actively
harassing of women, no more so than would be found in real life, I
suspect. What gets me riled is some of the language that is accepted
in game, specifically when the word “rape” is used to mean “kill” or
“dominate”. Nothing but bad things can come from making “rape” into
something else; we need it to be an awful word in hopes of perceiving
it as an awful event.

I generally tend to laugh at this sort of thing so i can’t say i
remember “harassment.” If someone is an ass, i generally write them
off as such and that’s that. People do occasionally act funny when
they find out i am “a girl on teh internets! zomg!” but by and large I
have not had any of the experiences one reads about where females are
bothered with constant tells, having their skill questionned etc.

Most people, upon finding out my gender, are just like “cool” and we
move on. But then, I’ve gravitated towards more mature guilds with
each of my characters.

I specifically avoid visiting the official Blizzard WoW forums,
because the level of discourse is infantile at best. I have been
harrassed on more than one occasion due to being female. I have three
major stories:

I had a guild leader hit on me a great deal and pressure me to “marry”
him in-game. I refused and left the guild as soon as I found another
guild that would invite me. However, I did feel some pressure to
treat this man with kid gloves so he wouldn’t badmouth me to other
guilds or kick me out before I was ready to move on.

Once I joined the next guild, I was introduced to TeamSpeak, the talk
server. Once male players heard my voice, they began teasing me and
some hitting on me because of it. One player told others in the guild
he had a crush on me, and that he liked to log into the TS server to
just listen to me. This was all unbeknownst to me until a fellow
(female) guildmate told me about it. It was a bit unsettling to think
I was being observed.

I joined a third guild (the previous one imploded) and I still have
all my Alliance characters in this guild. The guild has more people
who know each other in person, are generally older people (at least 22
and older) and are generally more respectful of each other. However,
I had an incident where our guild invited a pickup player to a raid,
and invited him onto our TeamSpeak server. He liked my voice, so he
began sending me messages asking me whether I was married, (I’m not)
and if he could have my photo. I refused to send him a photo. The
raid finished, but the guy didn’t log off. Over the course of another
week, he continued to hang out on our Talk Server, trying to find me.
My guildmates made a password-protected talk channel because they saw
him lurking and didn’t want him to join us. Once I logged in, this
guy sent me messages saying he wanted to raid with us again. I
explained there was no room available, he responded that he really
just wanted to listen to my voice on the TS server. I related all
this to my guildmates, who were prepared to harrass the guy or report
him. Thankfully, he logged off when I told him he made me
uncomfortable and hasn’t returned.

In general, I find that I am treated differently when it comes out
that I’m a real woman, not just playing a female character, but not in
a bad way. I find most the male players are surprised that I am
female when they discover it. Perhaps I play a lot like a male
player, or something. Beyond the three incidents above, I haven’t
received any comments about not being a good player because I’m female
- which is something touched on in other communities, like the
Blizzard forums or even the worldofwarcraft LJ community. I expected
more of that, since it’s very common in FPS games to rag on women for
being bad players. However, there is also a tradition of trash
talking in FPS games that I just don’t see in MMORPGs. I receive a
lot of compliments on my playing skill, primarily from men, and there
are several very skilled women players in my guild whom I respect.

Not in Game itself but on TS there were different occasions in which I
felt really hurt by the expressions. (As it all was in german I’m not
able to tell you the story as they happend) There were always some
(often realy young) guys who either didn’t believe me that I didn’t
let the computer alter my voice and really am a woman, or they made
condescending comments about women even though they knew I was in
there with them. This is better know, since I play in a guild in which
the average age is about 25 and there are two more women.

In-game, while playing female characters, I’ve received comments that
in real life could be construed as sexual harrassment. To paraphrase
one male character, “Hey baby, can I lift up your skirt and do you?”

It seems to be easier to get help from
the male players as a woman. If someone assumes I’m a guy, I
sometimes don’t tell that I am a woman so that I will be treated as an
equal. I’ve seen guys pretend to be women to get help from other male
players. Not all players treat you differently when they know you’re
female, but there’s just enough out there to make it annoying to me.

it seems that the men who play the game either think
women gamers are extremely hot or extremely annoying.

Only once when a 13 year old kid found out I was female and started
asking me all sorts of weird questions in game

I find that while some guys act like complete idiots when they find
out you’re a girl, most guys are actually cool with it. They do
sometimes get the better than you complex but if you kick their butts
enough times they lose that pretty quickly. I also think that a lot of
the miscommunication about guys not respecting/accepting woman gamers
comes from that guys act a certain way online, the same way that they
act with their mates and so some woman are uncomfortable with the
bawdyness that guys operate with sometimes.

I’ve been propositioned for cyber on numerous occasions. Beyond that,
I was one of just a few girls in my Scarlet Crusade guild who ever
went on our Ventrilo server, where my guildmates would get into
fabulous in-depth discussions about porn and the hawtness thereof.
They gave me a lot of shit, and I had to give it back tenfold.

When I was younger, I’d be on BBSs or in games where there were very
few females and I would be frequently singled out. I’ve only been
actively harassed a few times, but because of the system admin’s
desire to keep me (and other females) around, such incidents wouldn’t
happen for very long.

I think my gaming experience has been a positive one. In some
cases, being a woman has worked to my advantage. Although there aren’t
as many women as men playing MMORPGs like World of Warcraft and Guild
Wars, from years of gaming I can see that women are slowly entering in
larger numbers. It is becoming more socially acceptable to be a gamer.
My views might be colored because I try to limit my exposure within
online games to mature players and don’t generally do pick-up groups
or expose myself to the WoW community as a whole.

I was once harassed by someone in Dark Age of Camelot who would not
leave me alone when he found out I was female. He would ask me to
visit him and saying how much he “loved” me. It was very uncomfortable
for me because I had only talked once or twice to him in a casual
manner while grouping, I finally ended up ignoring him. Other then
that though, I have had good experiances with online games.

I’ve been finding in World of Warcraft, that since playing a warrior
as my main character (compared to a mage or priest) the majority of
males assume that I’m actually male and tend to treat me rudely, once
they do figure out I AM a girl the whole tone of how I’m treated
changes. Suddenly they’re nice and sweet. It really does bother me
sometimes. Just because you’re playing a non-typical female class
doesn’t mean you aren’t a girl.

Because of the fact that I’m friends with all of the guys I play with IRL
and I’m extremely close to a number of them as well, at times in guild chat
or on vent they like to poke and make fun of me at anything to which other
girls would seem like harrassment but to us is just a joke and having fun. I
can’t recall any situations that have stood out in my mind. There was a time
I was grouped with my friend Sean and an online friend of his. My character
is a guy so the other person had no idea I was a girl IRL. This person
started saying about how girls would not be able to get far in this game
because they wouldn’t be able to understand it or learn how to play it. If
they somehow did, they wouldn’t be very good and be one of the worst in
their class. He made a reference to my character and said, “See now this guy
knows what he’s doing. There’s no way a girl could play that character”.
Sean got extremely mad (he has a bad temper) and they started an argument
about it. It wasn’t until I spoke in Vent that he finally believed that I
was a girl. Needless to say we kicked him from the group.

I love the fact that even though I play an online game, I’m still considered
“one of the guys” with my guy friends and not given any special treatment.
They all know that I play my character well class-wise. When they call me in
the game or in our guild by my real name, everyone else is surprised to see
that it’s a girl playing a guy character. Same as when I talk on Vent. At
this point the other guys are shocked and intrigued to have a girl with them
and from then on are nicer to me in general or give me attention (not
sexual) instead of leaving me invisible like I was before they found out. My
guy friends *always* back me up when someone is being an ass to me or just
rude to girls in general. I’ve found most guys to be supportive of me and
they don’t mind at all that I’m a girl – with the occassional joking from
some of them of course. They’d never say things though if they knew I would
get mad or if it was completely inappropiate.

Not on the forums, because I don’t talk on them, but I have been
harassed in game, once a guy in my guild found out I was a girl, he
started running me through instances etc, and flirting a lot, even
though I let him know it was unwanted attention. This was not innocent
/flirt-ing, he was borderline cybering, saying nasty things to me in
vent, I ended up ignoring him and the guild kicked him since he was
getting pretty bad to me and a couple of the other female guild

Yes actually. I find it’s harder to be taken seriously in-game when
those you’re playing with discover you’re a girl. It’s as if only boys
are ‘real gamers’ and girls are, of course, assumed to be playing only
because their boyfriend/brother is away from the computer. Or
something. It’s annoying .. I’ve been asked before to use teamspeak or
ventrillo to ‘prove you’re actually a girl’ but since I don’t use
either, they assume I’m not one. As if I have to prove it. ^_^; It’s
obnoxious. That’s why I normally only play with people I know, or with
my all-girl guild on Bronzebeard.

Actually aside from the ’stalking’ incident, most guys think it’s cool
that chicks play MMORPGS. I’ve found a lot of respect among the guys
playing. 90% of the time, I have positive experiences in game.
Although hearing “Wow, you’re cool, I wish my girlfriend played!” does
get old sometimes. LOL :)

Its very hard to be taken seriously in game sometimes by other players
(male). My opinions and plans are often glaced over when they know I’m
a female in RL. I’ve also noticed on the positive side that because I
am female I tend to receive more attention from my guild. Its hard to
explain. Not the “oh look its a girl?!” attention. Its more that I
have closer relationship as friends with guild mates than my fiance.
Usually I’m not a social person but it seems that they open up more to
me because I am a female. *shrug*

Oh sure…my guildies used make demeaning comments all the
time…ostensibly to get a rise out of me. When they realized it
wouldn’t work, they stopped. In game, alot of players will say “he” or
“him” or “thanks man”, to which i simply respond “i’m a chick”. Most
are pretty cool about it.

I’ve been fortunate not to have been harassed in-game…unless you
count the time I had my Nelf dancing with a male friend, and some guy
came by and buffed me but ignored my male friend who was also dancing,
then thanked me for the entertainment. Or the time I was running
through Stranglethorn Vale with my Nelf, and some random male dwarf
asked me to dance because he “heard that female NEs had a cool dance”
(riiight). Or the occasional horny little male gnome who will come
along and dance behind me so he can “spank” my Nelf’s butt. Or the
times my Nelf is dancing, and males of all races come by, strip,
dance, and ask me to strip. Insert other variations of this kind of
behaviour. Hrm, yeah….my tauren female has never experienced
anything like this, hehe. Says something, I think. Fortunately these
things are pretty minor compared to some of the stories I’ve heard
(like my guildies who were harrassed by this guy who was really
hateful and kept telling them their place was in the kitchen, and to
get off the game cuz women don’t belong on a game like this, yada yada
yada). Even so, most of the “minor” harrassments I’ve experienced
in-game would be considered unacceptable IRL…and I never experienced
anything like it when I played MUDs or UO. I’m not sure what attracts
the assholes to WoW.

i have guys sending me messages saying i’m so hott! and i tell them
alright 12 yr old i’m in my 20s and taken. they still do it! these
guys have no life.
it’s real sad.

Have you ever been harassed in game or on a forum because of your
gender expression? In game yes. I was on my first character questing
in Un’goro with my boyfriend and two friends in my guild (one of these
friends I had met in real life by then, the other had been a long time
online friend who I have met since then). A random guy runs up while
we’re killing devilsaur and demands to join. He was kind of rude about
it but we invited him anyway. We went on with our business and then
one of the enemies dropped a quest item. Both the new guy and me
reached down to loot it and I got the quest item first. He went crazy
on me, and one of my friends said “That’s a girl you know!” (and in
the context it sounded more clear that he was kind of joking
aroundish, trying to calm the guy down with the knowledge that he was
swearing at a girl). The guy got even more hostile though. He first
said that if they all believed that, then they were really stupid.
(girls don’t exist on the internet omg) To that they replied, No,
she’s really a female… I’ve met her in real life. The guy then said
that if I really was a girl, I must be ugly, because pretty girls
don’t play games. My boyfriend booted him from the group after that.
This guy (as I found out after that incident) was kind of the asshat
of the server and he treats everyone like crap. Other than that people
don’t react negatively at all, but I’m not sure if that’s because 99%
of the time they find out because they find out that my boyfriend is
grouped with them as well.

I’ve also seen girls spoken down to badly on ventrilo in my old guild.
Some of the boys would say “Wow she sounds hot! I’d do her!” and other
lame things like that. They only really said that kind of stuff to the
new girls in the guild. They’d joke that the other ones sounded hot
but wouldn’t ever say things that made us feel like the “I’d do her”
comment would. I left that guild, partially because of this.

I did have a guild on my first character that just about jumped all
over me as soon as they knew I was a girl, but I was more amused than
anything so I let them go to my website to see pics and stuff and
answered almost anything they asked, I didn’t really mind it, if
anything I liked the attention, hehe

Well, had one guy stalk me in WoW recently. He somehow knew my RL name
and my main character’s name and would stalk all my alts over lvl 20
-.-; I put him on ignore. About a week after that I took him off of
ignore and I was almost instantly messaged by him. Which obviously
meant that he was messaging me at least once to twice each session. I
finally just wrote him in game mail saying leave me alone. (basically)
“You creep me out knowing stuff about me and you don’t love me. You’ve
only talked to me a couple of times… it’s creepy.” He did write
back, apologized and he hasn’t bugged me since. I never threatened to
nor contacted GMs. The problem hasn’t been an issue anymore.

only once, where a low level priest was staring at my warlock talking
about how hot she was. it was very short lived and i brushed it off.
now i’m in an all female guild and i don’t post on the forums. on my
first server i was one of two girls in the guild and they were aware
of my gender and it was never a problem – they respected me and
grouped with me and helped me out (didn’t hurt that i was a priest and
so was the GM, of course heh)

Yes, online once. Someone said in general that no actual females
played WoW and I begged to differ. Him and a bunch of other guys in
the area started ragging on me for being a guy playing a girl avatar
and actually pretending to be a girl.

I’ve never been harassed, cause I generally don’t tell people that I’m
female.. and if I do tell them, then it’s after I’ve been grouped with
them for a while and they know I’m not the stereotypical female gamer
(grrr, that stereotype pisses me off). Although… (this cracks me up)
one this guy started hitting on me HARDCORE when he found out I was a
girl. I was in an instance with my fiance and some other random
people.. well this guy found out, then gave me a flower and started
flirting with me like crazy. and then he gave me the BEST pickup line
I’ve ever heard in my life: “I want to grind your sweet ass all the
way to 60″ XD wahahaaa. I was on the ground laughing at this point. So
I let the guy know that I was engaged and my fiance was IN THE GROUP
and I don’t want “my sweet ass grinded to 60, thanks”, and to kindly
backoff. :P of course he pulled the whole “oh, I didn’t mean anything
by it” thing that guys always do when they get called out. :P but he
stopped talking to me alltogether after that XD

On feminism and oppression:

Yes, I’m opposed [referring to exploitation --LD]. But I think
there’s far too much hype about certain issues being sexual
exploitation/ oppression when they’re truly not. For example – I have
no objections to men have ‘Men only’ organizations. It annoys me when
women try to force their way into those. I feel that men are becoming
the oppressed gender more so than women lately.

Are you against sexism, sexual exploitation, and oppression? Well,
yes, of course. I don’t like this question however, because worded
the way it is no one would ever answer “no.” If you have specific
questions about sexism, sexual exploitation and oppression, my answers
may vary. For example, I am not fundamentally opposed to pornography.
Many women feel its existance is degrading to women. I am more
concerned with how the sex industry treats women. I respect porn
stars that own their own film rights and have their own production and
distribution companies. I think there’s a non-degrading way for women
to participate willingly in pornography which is often obscured by
Puritanical notions of sexuality.

I believe that while, yes, women are capable of doing anything they
want, and men can as well, I believe that some things are better done
by women and better done by men. Stereotypes, yes. However, even human
anatomy leans for men to be a stronger gender just on genes alone. I’m
not saying women couldn’t/shouldn’t be a weight lifter, or be able to
work at a job that has them doing streneous labor, I am merely saying
that males were perhaps more built for it. Same with home tending.
*MOST* women have a motherly/caring instinct. Ever notice how women
are lighter sleepers than men? It’s because of the instinct to listen,
to make sure everything is okay. Our home is our nest and we’ll be
damned to have anyone/anything invade!

Perhaps I am a bit feminist in the thinking of, -If you’re qualified,
you should be able to do it. Men, women, doesn’t matter.
…but I am also a believer that while there are exceptions to the
rules, based on geneology and evolution, men and women are built for
certian roles in life.

Yes, definitely. In fact, I kind of use WoW as a soap box of sorts.
I’m in a pretty intense raiding guild, and alot of guys will comment
on my healing or call me the best healer or whatever. Which is fine,
but when the same guys get in vent and talk about how women shouldn’t
be in politics b/c they’re “too emotional”…hehe…it’s fun to call
them out. :D

Do you consider yourself a feminist?

Very much so. I don’t even care if people think of me as a
man-hater and bra-burner, ’cause I pretty much am. The only reason
this word has a negative connotation is because of the patriarchal
society we live in where females are made to feel ashamed of ever
wanting to believe they’re equal.



  1. I remember when I played a Warlock, some guy who saw me in Org, asked me to summon a succubis. So I did. After a good 5mins of not responding to what I was saying. He turned around and said.

    “Oo thats better, I’m done” and ran off. I was horrified!

    Comment by Mim (1) — December 27, 2005 @ 7:05 pm

  2. Thanks for collecting this information together, it is a very compelling read.

    Comment by Guilded Lily (13 comments) — February 7, 2006 @ 4:35 pm

  3. [...] Anyway, go read the post, for it is interesting and not all negative like this post may lead you to believe. [...]

    Pingback by the play girlz gaming blog: because guys aren’t the only players » The Women in WoW — February 23, 2006 @ 4:48 am

  4. Firstly I’d like to say that any person who actually writes “OMG WTF U R A GRL, PIXX PLZ!?!1!?1″ And such are not male gamers, they are evil cyborgs sent by satan to make us look bad.

    Secondly, girls ROCK at gaming! I have mostly “RL girl” friends on WoW these days, (for some strange reason :P) and I have to admit it’s a little strange, as I’ve played since I was 13 and there never were any large group of girls til I met WoW, but! The girls I -do- know, are some of the best players I’ve ever seen on WoW, and are by the very least as good, or better, than the male players.

    Thirdly (I can go on forever ^^), any man who act so that a girl doesn’t want to play a game, has something seriously screwed up in his little mind, guys LIKE girls, that’s just how it is, and if we can get you online to play with us, all the better!

    Fourthly, alright I’m gonna stop, but if you ever get guys harassing/bothering you again, just tell them to go play tetris where they can wallow in their own loneliness.

    Tor out *grins*

    Comment by Tor (1) — February 23, 2006 @ 10:54 pm

  5. I just wanted to add feedback to this page as a male devotee of WoW. On behalf of all the males who are NOT harassing jerks in-game, I apologize for those who are. My girlfriend is not a gamer at all, and I actually envy those men whose partners do game, simply because it’s another activity the couple can enjoy together. (This is not to say that I think only females whose male counterparts play do so as well.)
    I appreciate this page a lot; I came here by accident, but it’s a great read.


    Comment by Domino (1) — February 27, 2006 @ 11:12 am

  6. As a male gamer (surpirse!) I personally feel a grim sense of disparity for the rest of my gender who seem to feel a need to play down the abilities of women gamers. I agree with the comment above. I would love to see more women enjoying great games like WoW for the sole reason that they are fun. I tried a while back to get my girlfirend into WoW (it didn’t take) but I take pride in the fact that I tried my best to help her enjoy it.

    Just remember for the women out that that not all guys are sexist assholes. Hopefully such archaic notions of gender roles will be disposed of.

    Comment by Anexthesis (1) — February 28, 2006 @ 10:34 am

  7. I have never experienced harrassment by any male players on WoW. Then again, Firetree is a good server. No one has ever put me down for my age or for being a girl. We all pretty much get along.

    Comment by Tamalia (1) — March 15, 2006 @ 5:45 pm

  8. I have never really received any bad thing form playing Online Games. However a few members in my partners guild, are a bit surprised to see a woman playing a warrior. Why i dont know? lol.

    On the subject of WOW. Does anyone know any strictly female guilds on the shattered hand server? Theres gotta be a guild call ed the pink ladies right?

    Comment by Cheryl (1) — March 29, 2006 @ 6:09 am

  9. Hello, just wanted to kinda (without having read the entire post) defend some of the poor guys in wow. Cuz they arn’t all 14 year old sods who’s never seen a chix0r before. I’ve never experiensed anything “negative” from male players whilest playing wow..Stupidity, yes. And to people who say “realx it’s just a game” etc, try taking it as a game when all you’ve worked so hard for gets shatterd by a harsh uncalled for comment about you being the stupidest bi*ch in the entire world just because you forgot to repair before an instance etc.. I take pride in my char. She is me and I am her when I logg on wow.

    Comment by Awarlock (1) — March 29, 2006 @ 10:13 am

  10. The first incident I encountered was in beta testing WoW, when my female human player was asked dance, and then to remove all her clothes and show a male player her “velvet body”.

    I now play on-line with my husband. Some of my (former) guild members knew I was female in real life and married to a fellow member, but not all of them were aware of this. Guild chat is effectively private to all but the members, and people will say far more “ban-able” things in this context. One night, when a new recruit and an apparent lunkhead were chatting, I was treated to a discussion about battering and dismembering a girlfriend who did not want to break with one of the players, talk of matri/patricide, how to make a bomb, “ghey” male players, and finally a p***ing contest discussing the relative size of their sex organs.

    When I abruptly quit the guild without comment, I think the more established guild member soiled himself. He forgot who (what) was playing my character.

    In short, I think openly-declared female characters don’t get *more” abuse simply owing to the fact that the offenders do not want their accounts shut down. Sad but true.

    Comment by Leonie (1) — March 31, 2006 @ 5:39 am

  11. Well I am a guy and it seriously makes no difference to me what gender the person is. I do encounter people claiming they are females in real life, and seriously it doesnt matter unless they do their job. Alot of my friends don’t really believe that female gamers play WoW but this is terribly naive. I justt don’t think many players treat female characters (whether they are really female in real life) any different as long as they do their job. I think its great though, that nobody really has to know what gender you are in real life.
    I played a NE druid one time that was female just for a little change. Let me tell you, I did get treated differently as people would seriously just run up to me and ask me to dance. Their reactins were funny when I told them I was a dude in RL.

    Comment by > (1) — May 3, 2006 @ 6:40 am

  12. I’d like to know if I’m the only 40 to 50 year old playing the game..I know that grosses out kids..but I still believe my soulmate is out there somewhere liking the same things I do. I’m not an idiot or internet stalker..just someone who is educated has a great career and believes in faeries…what’s wrong with that? I’ve only been playin a couple of weeks..but I love the game and the social part of being in a guild..but I’d like to “hang” out with my own kind :)

    Comment by Itaya (1) — May 17, 2006 @ 7:50 am

  13. I’ved played WoW since its release, I am female and play female characters. I haven’t witnessed any harrassment/favouritism from anybody once they found out I was female. I’m treated just like every other good player playing WoW. The ‘oh you’re a girl’ comments last a few seconds on TS/Vent then everyone remembers I’m xyz character and we start playing again.

    Comment by Paula (1) — June 1, 2006 @ 6:46 am

  14. It always makes me a little sad to read “There’s far to much hype about repression/exploitaition” and “I think males are becoming the oppressed gender”.
    In fact, what’s happened is that overtime it’s become less and less “cool” or accepted to talk about oppression/harassment/exploitation of females (and many other oppressed groups). This, in itself, is one sign of that oppression.
    In the last 2 clans and 2 guilds I’ve been in, the common reaction to girls is simple stereotyping, and harassment. These are some mature, kind groups, too. The common reaction of the girls is to be okay with harassment, to play with it, joke like one of the guys. This seems like the safest reaction of all the ones I’ve seen. It lets them keep playing, gains them acceptance, smooths over any conflict. Clearly, it’s “cool” to accept harassment.
    And you can tell how deep the misogyny runs when you think about the hard place this puts women. If you act “cool”, you catch flak from people like me. But if you speak out against this stuff, you get in another kind of trouble. There’s no winning.
    Women’s issues are not recieving the same considered dialogue they were 15 years ago. In movies, tv, etc., there’s been a backlash, a throwback to an earlier image of women. There’s an undermining of women that’s woven into popular culture, including the internet and gaming, and it’s more complicated than the outright problems in a movie like “North Country.” It’s visible in the sentence “You play like a girl.” This effect is kind of undoing all the progressive work of the previous decades.
    And the idea that males are becoming oppressed, not females… that’s patently false, but I don’t blame anyone who says that. It’s just a testament to how influential–and twisted–the current culture is.

    Comment by YelloDello (1) — June 1, 2006 @ 11:18 am

  15. well i may not be a girl im a 16 year old boy but i do agree with you on this subject cause my sister natasha who is 14 likes to play games and thus when a guy sees a girl play and says wow she must not be good. i feel compelled to tell him hes wrong cause my sister rocks at games and if she needs my help i know its because shes new to it other wiz i leave her along cause i know she can be as good as i am or better. so i found this under subject of world of warcraft surveys on google and found this to be a good read and feel like more people should know of this site well if you get a chance to email me to disscuss this more please email me at
    thank you for your time reading this.

    Comment by thomas (1) — July 15, 2006 @ 10:07 pm

  16. I disagree with what YelloDello (YD) said. Females and males get oppressed, just in different ways and perhaps for males it’s more subtle. Since (YD) has brought in some non-in-game examples, I think I can use some as well. (Before we go on, I’d like to make it clear that I am 100% natural female.) ^_^;;

    A lot of people still have stereotypes not only for girls, but for guys as well. For instance, boys cannot like the colour pink because it’s a “girl colour”. There is an article on the internet about this topic.

    However, I do agree that that girls get treated differently in-game. I used to be a Ragnarok Online (RO) fanatic and played on several servers before. Perhaps it was because RO attracts players of a younger age group (I am going to be 21 soon, and I played RO when I was 17-20), but most people would treat girls differently on all the servers I played on. Now I’ve just started playing WoW and after barely a week, I can safely say that I have quite a bit to contribute here (sad, but true).

    My current server, Bronzebeard, seems to have a number of younger players as well. I say “seems to” because I do not have any means of confirming their real age, but the way the players speak and talk make them seem that way.

    I once complained that people on the server were rude – ignoring requests for help (not just from me), jumping to assumptions (I mentioned on the general channel that I had approached people for help and some who paid attention to that channel automatically assumed I was asking for money), endless spam (guild recruitments, anyone?) – and they all pounced on me, saying that it was just a game and to relax, so what, etcetc.

    Someone pmed me and found out that I was a female and it instantly became a female bashing-session (though there were a few who did stand up for me). I got a number of nasty people who made comments like “stfu your only a girl” and “girls can never stop whining and b****ing”, and other comments along those lines.

    There were also quite a fair number of instances where when I was at an inn, a guy would strip naked, jump up on the counter in front of me and start dancing and flirting. Most of the time I can take this because I know that it’s just meant to be funny, so I simply slap them back. XD

    Then there are instances like the one just hours before, when I was fishing and a guy kept asking me to go to his spot/area instead, and when I didn’t, he came over and invited me to his “home in ” where “the bed’s soft and comfy” and was generally flirting, somewhat harrasing (I’d say only somewhat because he didn’t do much else other than whisper more stuff like asking me to add him to friends, whether I needed him to help with quests and so on) for a while, though it wasn’t as bad as some of the other cases here. XD

    I think that no matter where we go, there’ll just bound to be a number of jerks/sexists/@$$holes/etc. It’s just how many of them you get to meet, I guess. XD

    Comment by Mifuyuu (1) — July 20, 2006 @ 4:38 am

  17. My own girlfriend plays the MMORPG game, World of Warcraft. Yes, I am a guy, replying to this site, because my girlfriend got this link from one of her friends and she relayed it to me saying she felt more comfortable knowing she wasn’t the only one in the entire world who was going through the same exact thing you guys are…
    For instance, we ran Lower Blackrock Spire (LBRS), just last night, and we had a vent channel up… My girlfriend doesn’t specifically have a mic entirely yet, so she just listens… but there was another female in the group, and as soon as she said something, 3 out of the 7(?) guys that were on there instantly exploded, and started asking her questions and things… usually, if it was a guy, I’d have no problem with it, because I’d think they’d just be joking around, but she was harassed, I could tell… I stood up for her when she backed down into the corner telling the guys to just back off, and they did.
    But don’t take my comment as offensive, I came to this website n’ read some things… I knew there was harassment from some of my ‘gender counter-parts’, but I didn’t know it was to this much of an extent… it’s actually quite sickening to see other people be subjected to such harassment that they don’t deserve…especially if they decide to play a game, which I clearly have nothing against at all, and I try my best to treat the women that I do know who play, as just ‘one of the guys’, that way they can feel comfortable when they play.
    I mean, I met my girlfriend through the game of World of Warcraft, and then we found out we lived, what? 30 minutes apart from each other? We both shared a passion for gaming, and we continue to game together in WoW, and the good ol’ classics like Warcraft 3 (DotA specifically), Neverwinter Nights, and even Starcraft…
    On a sidenote, my girlfriend’s the best DotA’er I’ve ever seen, so, guys who think, “OMFG! THAT GUY JUST BEAT MY ASS UP, DUDE YOU’RE SO AWESOME!”, I proudly step up n’ go, “Actually, dude, you just got your ass handed to you by a girl…”; afterwhich, the kid would leave, or remain silent the entire game…Both my girlfriend and I get kicks out of it, in all honesty xD
    I love her for her gaming, but I mostly love her for who she is, and the gaming skills is just like, icing on a cake…

    Comment by Mithril (1) — August 1, 2006 @ 5:52 am

  18. Mithril, men are welcome on this site and do participate in the conversations. Don’t you fret. I’m glad we made your girlfriend more comfortable… I hope that she comes out of the woodwork and comments!

    Comment by Lake Desire (208 comments) — August 1, 2006 @ 7:55 am

  19. I have just started playing WOW as I got it for my birthday. So far so good…no wait GREAT! As for my comments on all this…I am a huge gamer. Have been since I was a kid playing Intellivision with my Dad. I’m now 27 and still going strong. I play a lot of games but the one I play the most, that is basically all males, is BF2. I am really good and I have one of the highest ranks (top 20 out of my clan of 150). I have experienced a lot of what you all speak of. There are a lot of very creepy/sexist things that happen and it’s horrifying to think we are still not being treated with the respect we deserve. In saying this a wonderful thing happened. I met my boyfriend through my clan and he is the most wonderful person I coulda met. All I have to say ladies is push through it and always stand up for yourself! Happy gamin’! : )

    Comment by TrinityGrace (1) — August 7, 2006 @ 10:55 pm

  20. Awe that’s nice, sweety!!! This is TrinityGrace’s boyfriend…As much as I love gaming with my wonderfull girlfriend it’s tough sometimes to share her with others. I know she loves me and I know guys are going to be guys no matter what but every once in while I get jealous. I really have to leave her to her games without feeling left out. The majority of the people she plays with are male and it’s tough to leave her do her own thing sometimes. Do you experience the same sort of thing with your boyfriend? How does he handle it? Best of luck to you guys on your journey through life and also your journey through WOW ;)

    Comment by NeoGrace (1) — August 7, 2006 @ 11:10 pm

  21. I am a 40+ (years) female player, with three girl-chars and one boy-char. Two dwarfs (of either sex), one Nelf and one human. My main char is warrior, and furthermore she is an arms warrior. Thus, I have become pretty interested in different types of arms and armours by time. My main alt is a druid, and she is into balance – particularly interested in shapeshifting.

    When it comes to gaming, I have almost never heard any negative comments about my female chars. I think they actually play fairly well, although I am not as quick as the youngsters out there. My talents are patience, social skills, good teamplaying in that I like strategy …

    What I find particularly challenging and interesting is to try to “talk together” a team, in particular when it is a “weak” team for an instance, thus it is not at all sure we will manage.

    Being “walked through” instances is not fun at all. Yet, I have stealthed through instances and that is VERY fun.

    I have never played with team-speak, and in written conversations is it not much of harassment as I feel it. My guild is populated by both boys and girls and several 35+ players. Maybe that makes the conversations less harassing? Some of us have children ourselves.

    So, I feel not bothered by sexism actually. What I would like to see is more of female dwarfs though, as they actually look very little like barbiegirls and more like real women (but short).


    (Dwarfgirls dance Riverdance BTW.)

    Comment by Bryn (1) — August 27, 2006 @ 4:07 am

  22. I quit my guild one night after (once again) listening to joke after joke about rape, child molestation, graphic sadistic sex, etc.

    People assumed it was because I am a woman, and am “too sensitive”

    I like to think it was because I am a decent human being.

    That is where I see sexism.

    Comment by JM (1) — September 12, 2006 @ 10:40 am

  23. Whoa, what a terrible thing to have to hear! I agree you weren’t being too sensitive (way to blame you for their behavior). That was brave of you to stand up to them and do something about it.

    Comment by Lake Desire (208 comments) — September 12, 2006 @ 11:52 am

  24. to be honest, i am sure there are lovely ladies who play WOW but a few in the game give them all a bad rep with their ’sex talk’ & harrasing of other people’s partners. i sometimes think that certain (not all) women distract from the real object of the game…to play! if they are desperate they should join dating sites…they make it difficult for others….

    Comment by littleladyee (1) — October 19, 2006 @ 4:04 pm

  25. … i play WoW now for over 2 years , i am a girl and had not often trouble … ok i play a priest and watching HP is what i like , the game is fun – was fun till now 2 male priest (r/l friends)joined our guild full T2 like me , one of them was mainhealer in another guild ( like me ) but i feel he is taking the fun out my game as he just ignored us girls ( we r 2 female priests and the other is our cl )so whatever we do it is like we r not there , if we say something they pretent not to see it , we also have the feeling they like that our tank or we die so there is proof that we cant play the game . I for sure think of leaving the guild as i think it dosent matter male or female the gamplay counts and i have seen many super male player but i certain saw great girls who are exellent players , why have we to prove we can play so much harder and if something goes wrong yes ofc lol what can u say she is a lassy omg….

    Comment by Moni (1) — December 12, 2006 @ 3:25 am

  26. I’ve been playing WoW for about a year, and haven’t really found anything to complain too much about on the harassment side of things. I do find it pretty amusing that other players tend to refer to me as “dude” or “him” or “he” at first, until I correct them, but I don’t usually bother.
    However with those that I do tell that I’m actually a girl, they don’t usually seem at all bothered. The only real problem I’ve had in relation to WoW and gender is that stereotypically girls don’t usually play these sorts of games, therefore I am quite low profile about it. I didn’t actually know so many other girls played the game, I’ve only met a few on my server, but its pretty comforting to know!
    I also haven’t met any guys who act in such a degrading way to a female gamer, that I remember, so maybe I’m living a sheltered WoW life. At least there are more and more girls playing, that are all different etc. so this apparent division between female and male gamers and the female gamer stereotyope will all fade away. Also although I like the idea of all-girl guilds, I’m not sure if I’d join one, because its seems like excluding people on a gender basis? Half the fun of wow is interacting with all different people!

    Comment by Em (1) — February 16, 2007 @ 9:02 am

  27. Harassment happens. A part of me wonders if these thoughts an attitudes are actually as common IRL and WoW just lets these people be more open about their feelings. Or if it has always been a part of male bonding to disparage the other sex.

    I’m a woman who plays mostly female characters. I’ve played undead, gnomes and dwarfs (who don’t normally get harassed) and humans and elves (who almost universally get some degree of harassment.) My advice to people who have no tolerance for that sort of nonsense is to pick an unattractive race. It shouldn’t be necessary, but there you have it.

    The demographics of online gaming are slowly changing. This is a good thing for all involved.

    Comment by Sharon (1) — March 18, 2007 @ 5:52 am

  28. Female, in-game and out, and for the most part I’m acknowledged as a girl but treated like a guy (aka, no difference in treatment) by my guild.

    I’ve had about a half a dozen incidents in the last two years of playing WoW. The worst by far,a nd the single exception I’ve ever had to deal with in my own guild, was one particular player in the raid who insisted on pm’ing me and making lewd comments out of nowhere. It bothered me enough that I finally took it to the raid leadership (and put him on /ignore across all my toons), and promptly found out that the raid leaders had gotten similar complaints about the same player from several other women in the raid, independent of one another. I’m sorry it took him that long to be kicked (and they /gkicked him so hard for that, I swear he bounced), but I’m glad it happened.

    To the issue of gender oppression – it goes both ways. This culture *is* twisted, very much so, but part of the manifestation of that is that women’s complaints about harassment are often no longer heard (when they’re even voiced – I put up with the aforementioned player for over a month before I worked up the courage to actually say anything!), and men’s complaints are not even *seen.*

    Most of the BS that goes on over the chats (Barrens, Trade, the old LFG), I can ignore. But there are some things that truly piss me off, and one of them is the use of the word “rape.” Rape is worse than just physically demeaning and emotionally demoralizing: it is a murder of the spirit, the single most personally invasive thing that can be done to ANYONE, male or female. It should never be joked about, or used in such an offhanded way.

    Something else that bugs me, going back to the issue of men being oppressed (in a more subtle way than women) is the constant gay-bashing. A mob bugs and can’t be looted: “Oh, that’s so ghey!” “Look at that gay-ass Horde/Alli run!” Really: how does one get a sexual and/or lifestyle preference from the actions of an electronic avatar? All it does it serve to further repress the idea of individuality, and reinforce the stereotypes of both men and women. (Notice that most people who use this term as a derogatory slur in this fashion, don’t have any problem with lesbians. Double standard, anyone?) I’ve been known to jump on people’s cases about this one.

    Harassment is a widespread problem, more so than anyone really wants to admit given that there’s a good chance that a lot of incidents are never reported. But it’s not going to be solved until we all as a society wake up and smell the bullshit. (Have you realized that there’s an entire sizable segment of the population in America today that commonly refers to women as “bitches” and “hoes?” What will they teach *their* kids?)

    IDC about someone’s RL gender, mating habits, lifestyle preferences, etc: when I’m grouped with them (or fighting them), all that matters to me is that they know wth they’re doing.

    To the guys that AREN’T jerks: I think I can be safe in speaking for all of us ladies when I offer a heartfelt THANK YOU. You help make the world a better place, online and IRL.

    With that, I’ll sign off. Thanks for the time. /drops $0.02 into the jar on her way out.

    Comment by Nanashi (1) — April 5, 2007 @ 3:05 pm


    So if you hear gamers refering to rape, gay-bashing, harrassing other players TELL THEM TO STOP! Yell it out in general chat! Add them to your ignore list! The gamers that harrass are a loud and obnoxious minority!


    Comment by Gaiea (1) — April 20, 2007 @ 7:11 pm

  30. I started playing 3 months ago and until this day I havent been harrassed yet for being a girl. I dont know how many ppl know that, the ppl who know have treated me like their equals.
    The reason I started to play WoW was because I have seen my friends (male) played it. It looked kinda fun XD They are my best friends too ^^ one of them is my ex and I used to have a character on his account. But decided to buy WoW so I can play at home ^^

    I do have been called a noob a dozen of times, but I usually find out they are 12-14 year olds.. Quite annoying..

    Oh I remember a guy, when he found out I was a girl, started to ask strange things.. very strange things..

    Comment by Nat (1) — May 9, 2007 @ 1:46 am

  31. I, a boy at age 14, have noticed that mostly boys between 12 and 24 can be jackasses to women and girls. It really is annoying that they cant just learn to except that there mom lied to them when she said they were special. But rock on to the girls who still play inspite of them.

    Comment by Skipp (1) — May 31, 2007 @ 8:20 pm

  32. If it’s one thing I’ve learned in the many years of online gaming, it’s that it doesn’t make a difference to play or converse with female players as opposed to male players. The rare but nice exception of people actually meeting up can statistically be measured against signing up for a dating service (and it to work out for them in the long run). In short, I really don’t care if you’re a guy or a girl, I’ll judge you on your personality and skill if necessary. As many have indicated already, women who just have to show off they’re women or abuse it in any way possible (gifts, help etc) disgust me, as gullible we men can be ;-)

    Comment by Pansuto (1) — June 4, 2007 @ 9:09 am

  33. When i was running an instance and i was on vent, we were dueling outside and when a warrior won 3/4 told me to bark for him. Ive known him for awhile and he is never like that to anyone. Throughout the instance he kept telling ppl to get me to bark. I asked him to politely stfu, i didnt find it amusing but what was worse was guys ive known since i began playing WoW were on vent and laughing about it. It wasnt kewl…
    I proudly say ive never had help from anyone learning 2 play my class. I dont play this game to hook up with anyone, i play it to own.

    Comment by lilt (1) — June 12, 2007 @ 4:55 am

  34. I think that there are all kinds of people, good and bad , whether female or male. But there does seem to be a number of ones who are rather immature and disrespectful. I was in an instance and thought I needed an item, so during the roll I clicked ‘need.’ I won the roll, and this douchebag got mad and called me a “f***ing ninja.” Confused, after asking him about it, he first told me his reason and then proceeded to call me a “f***ing idiot” and “bop”, which I found out later to be a quite vulgar name to call a female. He then ‘ignored’ me before I could do anything. I’m not usually one to report, but I did report him. The only thing I unfortunately forgot was that he called me a “bop” (didn’t know what it was at the time”. I hope this doesn’t happen to anyone else, but unfortunately, there are all kinds of people, and there could be worse. Well, for all I know he could be a immature 14 year old. It’s just a game.

    Comment by anonymous6 (2 comments) — June 17, 2007 @ 9:07 pm

  35. to add on…the thing is that although I may not know as much about one aspect of a game, it gives him no right to treat me or anyone like this. just because it’s online or anywhere else, doesn’t mean he can’t treat a person badly. I mean, where is the basic respect people should give one another?

    Comment by anonymous6 (2 comments) — June 17, 2007 @ 9:13 pm

  36. Hello, im a 17 years old guy, i once met a girl in world of warcraft and we married and stuff, she actually got angry because i spent more time leveling than with her and she wanted us to meet in real life, my question is do girls seriously take in game relationships so seriously? at the end is just a game.

    Comment by Ozuma (1) — June 19, 2007 @ 9:54 am

  37. TO all women palyers, i am a guy and i respect u for playing w.o.w but you must remember that some of these othere guys are just (mind the expression) noobs , I personly blame the perents , well good luck in-game

    Comment by matthew (1) — July 11, 2007 @ 12:41 am

  38. I’ve been playing WoW since i don’t know when. Its weird how some of my guildies believe that i am a guy diguised behind a female toon lol, but o well nothing i can do. At least i’m still having fun!

    Anyways, ppl that think girls can’t be gamers are completely wrong. In fact, females are more attracted to video games than guys, its the not so femalish factor that keeps most of us away from MMO’s or violent games but that stereotype must me changed!!

    Comment by Reyi (1) — July 16, 2007 @ 9:58 am

  39. I Peronaly would love to have a girlfriend i could play world of warcraft with its fun and when u cant meet each other in person u can allways go play wow with her . Also i have known plenty of girl gamers that are better than me it doesnt really matter if ur a girl or a boy. I want a girl who plays wow >.

    Comment by Derek (1) — August 8, 2007 @ 10:46 am

  40. I have been a girl-gamer all my life. (ever since the NES came out!) And when my bf met me for the first time he was very happy to have a gf that loved videogames more than he did lol!! Now we have both of our pcs right next to each other and we play WOW all the time. (we just discovered the game like 2 months ago, hehe)
    I haven’t been harassed or anything like that cause i don’t talk that much to other people in the game, only to trade and stuff. Maybe because they just think i’m just “one of the guys” in a female character…
    Happy gaming everyone!!

    Comment by Kim (1) — August 17, 2007 @ 8:16 am

  41. I just left my guild last night – mostly because a couple specific people are crass and lack what I would consider a baseline amount of respect for others. I am a RL male, but I am an artist and a musician, and there is NOTHING about the male toons in WoW that appeals to me – I identify much more with the female toons, and so I play them (however I have to avoid the voice emotes as I feel they insult even me “playing” a woman). It’s not because I like to look at them hehe.

    People think I’m over-sensitive and are totally shocked when I point out things like saying “he will this, he will that” when talking about a not-yet-chosen guild leader – there are 10 women in the guild. And some other person makes jokes that include choice statements like “banging interns” – and I just can’t accept that. I also get tired of trying to tell people why saying “That is retarded” or “that is gay” or using the word “bitch” in any context is not ok.

    I think I am more sensitive about those things than a lot of women – but I left the guild because I want to have fun in this game, and I wouldn’t choose to surround myself with those kinds of people in RL, so why should I pay to fill my all-too-rare hours of freedom to put up with crap like that.

    Anyhow – I personally feel that more women should play games – my girlfiend plays, and she is amazing (far better than I am) — once Blizzard realizes that it’s not just a jack-off male teenager fest like the games of the past, maybe they will create an environment which is a little more respectful of everyone.

    Thanks so much for posting this survey and all the great comments – it was nice to find so many thoughtful people in one place – can we all just move to a new server somewhere? :)


    Comment by Murran (1) — September 8, 2007 @ 6:31 am

  42. I just tell the boys, who hear my “sexy voice” in voice chat and message me, that I’m 40 years old and then I ask them how old their mom is … that usually stops the messages dead.

    Comment by Delia (1) — October 2, 2007 @ 9:59 am

  43. I am a M who has a female rogue char and was amazed and actually disgusted how differently I was treated. It made me feel creepy to have random ppl hit on me, offer me gifts, and ask me to strip and dance. So I changed to an rp server and it was worse! I just wanted a char who fit the profile of a rogue (pumped up steroid goons don’t fit the part) but was stuck with a barbie char who says some really degrading emotes and who guys weird out on. It gave me a taste of what women must go through and it pissed me off! Blizzard needs to alter their char choices such as being able to age them and choose different body styles. How can they expect mutual respect among ages and genders in their ol world when female blood elves say “no, I won’t do that… but my sister will!” That’s messed up.

    Comment by Kurt (1) — October 8, 2007 @ 1:24 am

  44. for some reason i really like girl gamers.

    Comment by mixand (1) — October 30, 2007 @ 7:58 pm

  45. I’ve been playing WoW since June of ‘05. I always play female characters because I am a girl and I honestly prefer how they look to the males. With the exception of Taurens, heh. I have seen both pros and cons for admitting I am female. There are people who have helped me with quests or given me items. More often there are guys whom I’ve grouped with that critize how I play. WoW was my first video game I ever played, of course I’m not going to be as good as people who have played for games for decades but I like to believe that after playing the game for years now I have a fair grasp of how to play. It’s insulting that guys still feel the need to “show” me how to play “better.”

    A new problem I ran into is when I decided to switch to horde, I left 3 level 70 characters behind so I could level a bloodelf. It seems that horde is much worse for harassing girls, random characters will see me waiting for a zepplin or walking through a zone. It’s almost an even split of getting hit or being acused of being a guy. Is it so weird that I just want to be left alone to enjoy the game?

    The thing I’ve found most annoying is a lot of my male friends that also play the game, play female characters just so they can take advantage of guys that help them out. I think that makes it harder for the real girls to be taken seriously.

    Comment by Katie (2 comments) — November 13, 2007 @ 4:14 am

  46. Most of my characters on WoW have real girl names, I’ve noticed a difference in the amount of whispers or emotes I get when I am on those charaters vs when I am on character with a more fantasy name. A lot of people flat out ask me if I am a girl, and then say they “knew it” because of the name. Of course female characters played my males are sometimes more obvious with names like “jugs” or “imadude.”

    I also get angry whispers from women that my character’s name is their real name. The worst is on my alt “Jane” Every time I ask them, “How likely is it you would have made a character named after yourself?” It usually shuts them up.

    Comment by Catherine (2 comments) — November 13, 2007 @ 4:21 am

  47. There’s no doubt female gamers are gonna be treated differently, but I have never experienced any negative attitudes towards women at all. People joke a lot about the topic, but I have never seen it as an issue.

    Comment by Riplash (1) — December 5, 2007 @ 2:49 am

  48. It all depends on who you surround yourself with. I have played WoW for two years.
    The first year of WoW I was in a guild that was run by young men and populated by teenage boys. After my first venture onto Teamspeak I vowed never to log into that boys club again. I found that all my ideas and suggestions were ignored, but if somebody wanted to make a sexist joke they were all ears. I ended up leaving that guild (and taking some of their best officers with me) when I reported sexual harassment to the guild master and he refused to do anything.
    Now, I run my own guild. I have never once had trouble, and in fact my guild is full of women! I am guild leader and raid leader; I have the respect and friendship of my guildies. We don’t tolerate sexual jokes/innuendo/profanity in guild chat, and guess what? Our guild is squeaky clean as well as a safe, comfortable, and fun environment for women.
    Point is…surround yourself with the right people.
    I get tired of female gamers seeing themselves as victimized. I believe that most of these women put themselves in these situations because no matter how much they say they hate getting hit-on, they are secretly thriving off of it. If you want a clean, respectful gaming world…it’s out there. You just have to actually try to find it.

    Comment by Kay (1) — December 11, 2007 @ 8:44 am

  49. Err you ladies need to roll horde!
    It must be a maturity thing, because I don’t get any of the above.. I love my guild, am a captain in it…
    Go with the uglies, ladies ;-)
    Have fun gaming, who cares about gender; when there is PVP to get done!

    Comment by MsSteaken (1) — December 24, 2007 @ 4:45 pm

  50. I play WoW and I am well over 40 male (4 over 60 toons) with 2 Daughters who play female toons. I closely monitor my childs toons and play thier female characters from time to time to monitor the guilds treatment of them and other players(No I do not announce I am an alt player). In general harrassemnt is minimal. If it occurs I create a log of the facts and text of the player’s name his/her comments. Depending on the gravity of the harrssement I inform Blizzard both in game and out of game and if player is in a guild I send message using my toon to the perons guild leader. I inform the harassing player of what has been done (Via an Alt) and that criminal charges may be pressed once I Subpoena his/hers RL info from Blizzard. Usually stops the BS straight away.

    Comment by Xfactor (1) — January 16, 2008 @ 2:09 pm

  51. As bad as a lot of these things are (and I only read the first 1/4 of all the above comments), it makes me feel that the simulation is WORKING on a social level, that is: it is reflecting real life fairly accurately. The disrespect towards women is carrying over to the virtual world. It is a sad comment on being human, perhaps. On the plus side, it does mean you have to adapt & come up with strategies for dealing with these a-holes that are disrespecting you…. just like we all have to learn to deal with the a-holes in our real lives

    Comment by Jason (1) — January 27, 2008 @ 3:54 pm

  52. This was really interesting reading and I recognise so many things. I have been playing WoW for 2 years now in a semi hardcore way. I have had some probs in the past with males harassing me, because I have never kept my gender a secret, so they all know it quite fast due to hearing me on vent, but also the way I write in guild and partychats ( don’t ask me what girly writting is, maybe it’s beacsue I don’t curse and use as much bad language). I’ve heard a lot of talk about females not being good players and I was in a guild where I had to prove myself worthy all the time. Half a year ago I changed guild and now I feel that I’m getting respect and that people really don’t care about me being a woman, I’m treated like all the guys. It’s so nice not having to fight people about my right to play the whole time. The guild I’m in now has more mature players and players from northeurope. My old guild was made up mostly by southeuropean men and sorry to say so but that makes a huge different in the way they think about women in general not only in WoW. Ofc there are still some jokes about girls and some sextalk, but I don’t care, that is what I get when I’m an intruder in a male world and most of the time it’s really funny. I also make some bad jokes sometimes and I talk back if anyone take a joke to far.
    There will always be men flirting and treating me different and I have to admit I like it most of the time, but it’s important to set the limit. I never use my gender to get stuff even if many people wanted to farm for me and give me stuff. I only ask my close ingame friends for help, but most of the time, well I’m a big troll and can’t take care of myself :)

    Comment by Lillan (1) — February 8, 2008 @ 7:43 am

  53. I play wow, and as a female, I rarely have problems with guys disrespecting me. If they do make any comments, I tell them not to do it in the presence of a lady. It seems to work well. Recently though we ran Gruuls with a pug mage who was female. She said many inappropriate things in vent, even referring to anal sex a few times. She acted quite trashy, and it was the first time I’ve seen my guildies actually rip on someone for being a “whore”. I think in order to get respect as female players, we need to act as if we deserve to be respected. Talking about things in front of people you do not know that are disgusting does not help females players get the respect they deserve and it sadly reflects badly on other female wow players.

    Comment by Rav (1) — March 19, 2008 @ 3:44 pm

  54. OMG just been reading through some of the mail sent and i can deffo relate to most of it. I joined wow in December 2007 not really expecting to like the game but i did and love playing it. The only thing that spoils this is men or boy’s being sexually explicit toward me whisper msg. I am an officer in my guild n so my fellow guildes have high respect for me and treat me right however a few twinks joined not so long ago and ever sinse then i have had dirty talk thrown my way. Everything was fine till they realized i was a lass then that when it started!. I mean my char name dunna really hide my sex has it’s a quite obvious choice of name! but once they knew for sure that was it. I had a 12 year old whisper msg me asking me if i was single! i said no he then said that it was a shame cus he’d liked to well you get the idea!. I promptly told him he was well out of order and that i won’t acceot being spoken to like some slut. So yes he was kicked out by me for his nonsense toward me, i later informed my guild why and they completely understood me and did’t blame me for my action’s saying i did the right thing!. However later on he made a new char and joined our guild! i didn’t no at the time but soon realized once he started talking to me again who he was! I waited for a while to see what he’d say and sure anoth he was whipering me again telling me what he’d like to do to me! i mean this lads 12 whats the world coming to :S i am a 23 year old women whomis not fat or ugly lol just tpo confirm to any males who may be reading. So yeah once again he was kicked but he continued to whisoer me so i went higher and had him removed from the game! i printed a still frame of his dirtyness has prove of what he’d been doing so he was promtly thrown from the game!. I do get a bit of attention during playing ie questing and grouping for quest’s which i put up with! and shrug it off now but anything rude well i don’t put up with.

    We women should be aloud to play wow in comfort because guys women do play and it’s more common than you think!.

    Resoect us or lose us!

    To all the girls out there! continue to play n don’t let this idoits rain on your fun! =D

    Take care all

    Comment by Susie (2 comments) — March 20, 2008 @ 6:38 am

  55. I noticed loads of spellin error’s in my last msg but well you know what i meant!. Guess thats what happens when ya type to fast lol! Ooooops sowwie peeps! :P

    Peace out

    Comment by Susie (2 comments) — March 20, 2008 @ 6:44 am

  56. If I get dissed, I report it. Simple as that.

    By the way, I highly recommend the “wow_ladies” community on LiveJournal.

    Comment by Farseer Lolotea (2 comments) — March 26, 2008 @ 7:05 pm

  57. It’s weird sometimes — there’s definitely a weird dynamic being the chick in the group. I’d say 90% of guys are completely cool with it but 10% occasionally whisper me weird sexual stuff (how big are your breasts, do you like anal, or the most common — let me see a pic! let me see a pic!), or make rude comments about how i’ll never be able to play well because i have ovaries, etc.

    On the other hand — I find the most awkward thing is the guys I like and enjoy chit chatting with on vent who start getting weird ideas about me wanting to meet irl. It’s always either very explicity for sexual or romantic reasons — and it makes me very uncomfortable when it comes from ppl i enjoy socializing with in the game. I feel like I cant just socialize for the sake of socializing b/c 90% of the ppl in my guild are guys and so many of them take it to be more than that — and although i chat quite a bit with many of them, it also seems sometimes like they have these buddy buddy bonds going on and that they are only interested in me for somethign romantice or sexual that i never intended to offer.

    sometimes i really really wish there were more women to play with.

    Comment by chairatee (1) — May 6, 2008 @ 9:35 pm

  58. Even though it might be a long time ago now, I really enjoyed reading this. Cause me and my friend is starting up a female raiding project on Spinebreaker EU. I recognize myself while reading this, cause most of the things that happend to you, happend to me aswell. Im so happy to see that there’s other women out there, thinking the same way as I do. You are awesome girl.

    xx Sithra
    Spinebreaker EU

    Comment by Sithra (1) — May 6, 2009 @ 12:43 am

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